BY GREG COTE
GCOTE@MIAMIHERALD.COM
When the star of your offense is the kicker, you might have a problem. The fact Dolphin Dan Carpenter is the first NFL kicker in 13 years with consecutive five field-goal games is great for the incentive clauses in Dan's contract, but not so great otherwise.
Field goals mean you almost succeeded, but you didn't. It's like leading the league in Miss Congeniality, or being voted the second-best team in a Super Bowl.
So the Dolphins have gone red-faced in the red zone and a remedy presented itself this week when receiver Randy Moss came available on waivers, but Miami passed.
Huh? What?
Characteristically the tight-lipped Dolphins wouldn't elaborate on why, which can only lead one to believe the decision was made by Carpenter.
Apparently Moss' age, 33, didn't fit the business model of building for the future.
Bulletin: This franchise hasn't won a Super Bowl in almost 40 years. When is that future, exactly? How about getting Moss to win this week? This year?
Moss reportedly burned his already smoldering bridge in Minnesota when he profanely berated a caterer serving a post-practice meal.
Guess what?
I'd prefer my team had a petty man scoring touchdowns to a nice guy kicking field goals.
• Dolphins rookie defensive back Nolan Carroll is the son of newly elected Florida lieutenant governor Jennifer Carroll. It's probably just a coincidence that legislation has been introduced that would require every NFL team in the state to start at least one cornerback named Nolan.
• The Heat issued a ``fraud alert'' for fans to beware of counterfeit tickets after a record number turned up at early home games. Hint: If your ticket pictures an action photo of Rony Seikaly or lists the game location as the Miami Arena, it might be a fake.
• A Cleveland filmmaker, Dan Wantz, produced a video of still-angry Cavaliers fans answering in response to LeBron James' new ``What should I do?'' Nike ad. Hey, it's good those folks from Cleveland don't hold a grudge or anything!
• Remember the Cleveland teen who wore a LeBron jersey to an Indians game? The Heat invited to fly him down and honor him at a game here -- then rescinded the invitation after word got out. Probably a good idea. Let's limit our civic gloating to the basketball court.
• LeBron said he wants to play on the 2012 U.S. Olympic team. I wonder if that means Clevelanders will start burning American flags, too?
• The Celtics' Kevin Garnett is under fire for likening Detroit's Charlie Villanueva to a cancer patient because of his shaved head. Two things wrong with that: First, the insensitivity. Second, umm, not sure if Garnett is aware, but he, too, wears a shaved head.
• The Marlins as expected retained interim manager Edwin Rodriguez for the 2011 season. Rodriguez was that exquisite mix of cheap and pliant, a heaven-made combination for this ownership.
• With Edgar Renteria the Giants' World Series MVP and Cody Ross perhaps their biggest postseason star, isn't it fair to say the Marlins just won the World Series?
• World Series television ratings tied for the lowest ever. I think the reason is a disproportionate number of potential viewers were Tim Lincecum fans who, after too much smoking, were too busy raiding the refrigerator to remember to turn on the TV.
• Rangers ace Cliff Lee and Yankee Derek Jeter top the list of 142 free agents. The Marlins are expected to be among the biggest spenders in free agency this year. (I'm kidding, of course. Just wanted to see how that actually looked in print).
• The Panthers entered the weekend trailing their NHL division with the second-fewest points in the conference, but coach Pete DeBoer said, ``I don't mind where we're sitting.'' Hmm, anybody else think that could be part of the problem?
• Rescued Chilean miner Edison Peña is running in Sunday's New York City Marathon. Everywhere you turn you see a rescued Chilean miner. Can the TV reality series be far behind?
• Unbeaten Zenyatta was the favorite in Saturday's Breeders' Cup Classic in Louisville. Jockeys Calvin Borel and Javier Castellano exchanged punches following a Friday race. One of the funnier images in sports: Brawling jockeys. At least no whips were involved.
• Tiger Woods has lost his No. 1 world ranking for the first time in five years. I blame that recent rules change that no longer gives golfers credit for mistresses accrued.
• Redskins coach Mike Shanahan benched Donovan McNabb in favor of Rex Grossman. If that isn't a reason to have Shanahan Baker-acted, I don't know what is.
• FAU retained the Shula Bowl trophy with a fifth consecutive football victory over rival FIU last week. The bad news? The NCAA denied Howard Schnellenberger's request to play FIU every week.
• FIU basketball coach Isiah Thomas continues to lobby to return to the New York Knicks front office, this week telling ESPNNewYork.com he thinks about it ``every single day of the week.'' It sure is good FIU is getting your full attention, Isiah!
• Thomas promises if he is Knicks president again he'll lure James to New York in 2014. Umm, you do know you're living and working in Miami right now, right Isiah?
• Miami Northwestern High principal Charles Hankerson fired popular football coach Billy Rolle then reinstated him the next day. Dear Charles: Next time, take a deep breath first and count slowly to 10.
• Parting thought: Davie hosted the Southeastern Circuit Championship Finals Rodeo ending Saturday. It's the only sport in which, when the athletes pull a calf muscle, the calf bleats in protest.
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